8) DISTRACTIONS
Those who don’t feel this love pulling them like a river, those
who don’t drink dawn like a cup of spring water or take in
sunset like supper, those who don’t want to change, let them
sleep. This love is beyond the study of theology, that old
trickery and hypocrisy. If you want to improve your mind that
way, sleep on. I’ve given up on my brain, I’ve torn the cloth to
shreds and thrown it away. If you’re not completely naked,
wrap your beautiful robe of words around, and sleep.
-- Rumi
The purpose of distractions is to distract away from deep-
seated emotional pain that is experienced in childhood and
stored in the body. These distractions do work but the
disconnection from their bodies, where the pain resides,
prevents people from being able to fully access their joy.
Having a connected mind and body is necessary to be fully
present and in the moment. There is a Buddhist curse - “May
you be born in interesting times.” The curse being that you will
be so caught up with distractions of interesting things that you
will never find yourself. The key is consciousness of self and
awareness of how present you are each moment. It is
interesting to note, how the same activity can either be a
distraction from joy or a living of that joy.
Distractions can be anything that takes attention away from
feeling completely. Some examples of destructive distractions
(that also reinforces low self-esteem) are any addiction
(alcohol, drugs, gambling, sex, food), anger or depression.
Dealing with these distractions and the destructive
manifestations of them takes a lot of energy.
Other types of distraction are less destructive but still consume
time and energy that could be used to find and live one’s joy.
Work, play and relationships are examples. In relationships, as
an example, the search and then finding fault and arguing and
then breaking up with partners can consume a lot of time and
energy.
My client D. is a very good example of this dynamic. Like many
clients, she has several distractions. Her biggest is her
relationship to eating and being too heavy but she also distracts
by being a workaholic and caretaker. Food is a common
distraction mechanism for people with severe emotional trauma
because it serves to distract in multiple ways. A food issue
nurtures, punishes, distracts, gives ballast (a false sense of
grounding), and the illusion of protection. The struggle with her
weight has had a very powerful impact on her life. She gains
and loses large amounts of weight but it is always a struggle –
when lighter she fears gaining and when heavier she feels
unattractive and unworthy. Her struggles with her fear are
intense and consuming and distract her from feeling her
emotional pain that stays locked up in her body. As painful and
as consuming as this distraction is, it is less than the pain of her
childhood wounding. Being able to be fully present with the
pain she experienced as a child, is much too terrifying for her.
BACK
Those who don’t feel this love pulling them like a river, those
who don’t drink dawn like a cup of spring water or take in
sunset like supper, those who don’t want to change, let them
sleep. This love is beyond the study of theology, that old
trickery and hypocrisy. If you want to improve your mind that
way, sleep on. I’ve given up on my brain, I’ve torn the cloth to
shreds and thrown it away. If you’re not completely naked,
wrap your beautiful robe of words around, and sleep.
-- Rumi
The purpose of distractions is to distract away from deep-
seated emotional pain that is experienced in childhood and
stored in the body. These distractions do work but the
disconnection from their bodies, where the pain resides,
prevents people from being able to fully access their joy.
Having a connected mind and body is necessary to be fully
present and in the moment. There is a Buddhist curse - “May
you be born in interesting times.” The curse being that you will
be so caught up with distractions of interesting things that you
will never find yourself. The key is consciousness of self and
awareness of how present you are each moment. It is
interesting to note, how the same activity can either be a
distraction from joy or a living of that joy.
Distractions can be anything that takes attention away from
feeling completely. Some examples of destructive distractions
(that also reinforces low self-esteem) are any addiction
(alcohol, drugs, gambling, sex, food), anger or depression.
Dealing with these distractions and the destructive
manifestations of them takes a lot of energy.
Other types of distraction are less destructive but still consume
time and energy that could be used to find and live one’s joy.
Work, play and relationships are examples. In relationships, as
an example, the search and then finding fault and arguing and
then breaking up with partners can consume a lot of time and
energy.
My client D. is a very good example of this dynamic. Like many
clients, she has several distractions. Her biggest is her
relationship to eating and being too heavy but she also distracts
by being a workaholic and caretaker. Food is a common
distraction mechanism for people with severe emotional trauma
because it serves to distract in multiple ways. A food issue
nurtures, punishes, distracts, gives ballast (a false sense of
grounding), and the illusion of protection. The struggle with her
weight has had a very powerful impact on her life. She gains
and loses large amounts of weight but it is always a struggle –
when lighter she fears gaining and when heavier she feels
unattractive and unworthy. Her struggles with her fear are
intense and consuming and distract her from feeling her
emotional pain that stays locked up in her body. As painful and
as consuming as this distraction is, it is less than the pain of her
childhood wounding. Being able to be fully present with the
pain she experienced as a child, is much too terrifying for her.
BACK
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