Chapter 11
PART 2 – A PROCESS TO CONNECT THE ADULT AND CHILD-SELF
AND HEAL THE PRIMARY WOUND
THIS PROCESS IS BUILT ON THE CONCEPTS THAT:
1) Our internal child’s energy resides in the body and
2) A child uses physical sensation in interacting with and trying to
understand their environment.
In order for the adult-self to connect with the child-self and develop
a loving, healing relationship, it is necessary for the adult to
connect and communicate with the child in a manner that the child
can receive and understand. Intellectual thought is the language of
the adult and it is developed much after the creation of the primary
wound and its manifestations (as discussed in part 1). The practice
of the adult-self TELLING the child-self that it is safe and that they
are OK is not effective because the words are not fully receivable
by the wounded child-self. The adult must take their thoughts and
translate them into a SENSATE FEELING IN THEIR BODY! These
feelings of the adult then can be sent to and received by the child,
thus creating a relationship between them. THIS RELATIONSHIP IS
THE KEY COMPONENT OF HEALING THE PRIMARY WOUND!
APPLICATION OF THE PROCESS
Step 1 – When the client is on the table, I determine how present
they are in their body (the first action is always to connect and
have the client in their body), and to what level their child-self is
activated. Think of a scale of activation from 1 to 10 and the lower
the number the less the activation. Activation in the range from 5
to 10 is too intense to work with because the wounded child is too
present and impacting (refer to Chapter 7). In order to use this
adult-child process, the activation of the client’s child-self must be
in the 1 to 4 range. If the client is already in this range we can
start and if above this number it is necessary to bring the activation
level down. If the child-self is not activated, we will purposely
activate the wounded child to the workable range by having them
connect with the pain of their primary wound. I can control the
level of activation because the client, after initially feeling the pain,
will retreat or distract from it, just as they did as a child. Keeping
the client present with their pain will gradually increase the level of
activation. If going to far up the scale, I bring the client back to the
present by having them open their eye’s and connect with the
environment. By bringing conscious awareness to the primary
wound (generally located in the area just below the solar plexus
and the abdomen), and then gently pressing this area, the sensate
reaction will activate the wounded child-self. The stimulus brings
up the child’s physical sensations of pain and fear that are
associated with the primary wound. The client makes this
connection because of the body’s stored memory mechanism.
When a particular sensation is felt, it can instantly trigger a clear
memory of every experience of that same sensation. The client
feels this connection very strongly and clearly and without the
doubt that can happen with a thought process. When the body
feels any sensation its reaction is simple and direct and without
doubt. This is the big advantage of working with the body. The
mind is like a computer that will take any information and try to see
all sides of that information, setting up dichotomies and doubts and
considerations.
Step 2 – I now have the client connect with their adult-self. This is
accomplished by having the client open their eye’s, look around and
reconnect with the present moment. I then have the client create a
thought to convey and connect with their wounded child-self. As an
example, the thought of love and patience for the child-self. This
thought must be translated to a sensate feeling in their body
(upper chest area). Specifically, what does the client feel in their
body when they feel “love” and “patience”. For myself, I feel - in a
very physical way - a warm, soft expansiveness in my chest. In this
feeling there is no pressure or nervousness. Quite often, clients will
need to learn how to experience their feelings in their body and not
just think them in their head. An exercise that can help is to have a
client visualize interacting with a puppy or kitten and how they can
feel the physical sensations of nurturing and love in their body.
Step 3 – These sensate, loving feelings are then sent from the
upper chest down to the wounded child’s primary wound below the
solar plexus. The wounded child-self, in receiving this positive
energy in a sensate way (a way they can receive), will feel nurtured
by and connected with by their adult-self. This relationship is
complete and integrated – mind and body. The beauty of this
process is that the client can physically feel the connection and with
this complete awareness of mind and body can develop an even
stronger and more powerful one. THE CLIENT IS LEARNING HOW
TO LOVE AND NURTURE THEMSELVES!
PART 3 – MORE DISCUSSION OF CHAPTER 11 AND SOME
EXERCISES FOR STRENGTHENING THE ADULT/CHILD
RELATIONSHIP
PART 2 – A PROCESS TO CONNECT THE ADULT AND CHILD-SELF
AND HEAL THE PRIMARY WOUND
THIS PROCESS IS BUILT ON THE CONCEPTS THAT:
1) Our internal child’s energy resides in the body and
2) A child uses physical sensation in interacting with and trying to
understand their environment.
In order for the adult-self to connect with the child-self and develop
a loving, healing relationship, it is necessary for the adult to
connect and communicate with the child in a manner that the child
can receive and understand. Intellectual thought is the language of
the adult and it is developed much after the creation of the primary
wound and its manifestations (as discussed in part 1). The practice
of the adult-self TELLING the child-self that it is safe and that they
are OK is not effective because the words are not fully receivable
by the wounded child-self. The adult must take their thoughts and
translate them into a SENSATE FEELING IN THEIR BODY! These
feelings of the adult then can be sent to and received by the child,
thus creating a relationship between them. THIS RELATIONSHIP IS
THE KEY COMPONENT OF HEALING THE PRIMARY WOUND!
APPLICATION OF THE PROCESS
Step 1 – When the client is on the table, I determine how present
they are in their body (the first action is always to connect and
have the client in their body), and to what level their child-self is
activated. Think of a scale of activation from 1 to 10 and the lower
the number the less the activation. Activation in the range from 5
to 10 is too intense to work with because the wounded child is too
present and impacting (refer to Chapter 7). In order to use this
adult-child process, the activation of the client’s child-self must be
in the 1 to 4 range. If the client is already in this range we can
start and if above this number it is necessary to bring the activation
level down. If the child-self is not activated, we will purposely
activate the wounded child to the workable range by having them
connect with the pain of their primary wound. I can control the
level of activation because the client, after initially feeling the pain,
will retreat or distract from it, just as they did as a child. Keeping
the client present with their pain will gradually increase the level of
activation. If going to far up the scale, I bring the client back to the
present by having them open their eye’s and connect with the
environment. By bringing conscious awareness to the primary
wound (generally located in the area just below the solar plexus
and the abdomen), and then gently pressing this area, the sensate
reaction will activate the wounded child-self. The stimulus brings
up the child’s physical sensations of pain and fear that are
associated with the primary wound. The client makes this
connection because of the body’s stored memory mechanism.
When a particular sensation is felt, it can instantly trigger a clear
memory of every experience of that same sensation. The client
feels this connection very strongly and clearly and without the
doubt that can happen with a thought process. When the body
feels any sensation its reaction is simple and direct and without
doubt. This is the big advantage of working with the body. The
mind is like a computer that will take any information and try to see
all sides of that information, setting up dichotomies and doubts and
considerations.
Step 2 – I now have the client connect with their adult-self. This is
accomplished by having the client open their eye’s, look around and
reconnect with the present moment. I then have the client create a
thought to convey and connect with their wounded child-self. As an
example, the thought of love and patience for the child-self. This
thought must be translated to a sensate feeling in their body
(upper chest area). Specifically, what does the client feel in their
body when they feel “love” and “patience”. For myself, I feel - in a
very physical way - a warm, soft expansiveness in my chest. In this
feeling there is no pressure or nervousness. Quite often, clients will
need to learn how to experience their feelings in their body and not
just think them in their head. An exercise that can help is to have a
client visualize interacting with a puppy or kitten and how they can
feel the physical sensations of nurturing and love in their body.
Step 3 – These sensate, loving feelings are then sent from the
upper chest down to the wounded child’s primary wound below the
solar plexus. The wounded child-self, in receiving this positive
energy in a sensate way (a way they can receive), will feel nurtured
by and connected with by their adult-self. This relationship is
complete and integrated – mind and body. The beauty of this
process is that the client can physically feel the connection and with
this complete awareness of mind and body can develop an even
stronger and more powerful one. THE CLIENT IS LEARNING HOW
TO LOVE AND NURTURE THEMSELVES!
PART 3 – MORE DISCUSSION OF CHAPTER 11 AND SOME
EXERCISES FOR STRENGTHENING THE ADULT/CHILD
RELATIONSHIP
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |