MIND BODY INTEGRATION – AN INITIAL SESSION
PART TWO
AVOIDING EMOTIONAL PAIN
The mechanism is simple – in order to avoid emotional pain that is locked
in the body, a client will live their life in their head. It is too painful to be
connected in a balanced way with their body. This pattern or program is
created as a survival mechanism in childhood. The fact that it has been in
place for so long makes changing it even more difficult. The head can
distract from pain by
1) repressing memory,
2) rationalizing (example – “everybody has this amount of pain or more”,
“the authority figures that caused the pain didn’t mean it or were
unconscious to their actions)”,
3) addictive behavior – (drugs to not feel, and the need to use energy to
deal with the manifestations of these addictions ),
(4) other distractions such as unconscious creation of crisis, compulsive
over attention to work, television, computers, sports, etc.
Emotional pain locked in the body is unhealthy and creates pressure that
the body wisely wants to release. In order to release, the emotional pain
and the pressure it creates need to be consciously acknowledged in the
head (mind). The healing process is about feeling the pain that comes with
that acknowledgement and being able to stay present with it. It is not
possible to heal the stored pain in the body unless the client is present with
that pain. In order to feel and live joyfully we must be complete and in
balance, mind and body.
FACILITATING THE RELEASE
I want the client to become conscious of how the mind unconsciously
resists the upward movement of energy and will energetically push against
the release. I ask the client to breathe deeply in through the nose and
exhale through their open mouth. This action will start the flow of energy
upward to the head. The image that I use to help understand this dynamic
is to imagine the body being the lower part of a bottle filled with emotional
pain and the contents are held in by a cork in the opening of that bottle.
As the cork is removed (the closed mouth) the contents start to release.
(Note – the closed mouth also inhibits communication energy). As the pain
starts to release the defense mechanism automatically kicks in and pushes
the feelings back down into the body. The energy used in pushing and
resisting emotional pain is wasted energy that could be used in more
productive ways. Imagine your left and right hand pushing against each
other and the resulting fatigue . Usage of energy used in this way is also
unhealthy because it depletes the immune system.
In the beginning, it is very hard for the client to stay in their body. Quite
often they are not even aware of the unconscious mechanism in action.
When I point this out to them each time that it happens, they start to be
able to feel the shutdown. I point out to them that this mechanism is
always in play – opening and feeling and then shutting down. The body is
trying to release and get rid of the pain stored there, while the brain is
trying to keep it locked up in the body. It is necessary to have the client
experience the emotional pain as it moves up into their head and into their
consciousness. The client is often afraid to let this happen. They are afraid
that they will lose control, fall apart and not be able to function. The client
needs to be taught how to slow down the release so they will have a
feeling of control. (refer to: the braking process and sense of being able to
feel and yet control the emotional reactions) . I believe that intense,
extended emotional releases can be counter-productive because the pain
activates the wounded child-self to a point of loss of connection to the
present and the adult-self. This agonizing disconnection can actually be re-
traumatizing to the child-self. When the client starts to go too deeply into
the emotional pain, I will bring them back to the present by having them
open their eyes and reconnect with the present and their adult-self by
checking their environment and seeing me. This allows the adult-self to be
more present and connected with the wounded child-self.
THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF HEALING – ESTABLISHING A HEALTHY
RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN THE ADULT AND CHILD-SELF. THE CHILD-SELF
IS NEVER ALONE WITH THE ADULT-SELF PRESENT.
The adult-self holding, nurturing, protecting and loving their child-self and
not having negative, judgmental, and destructive feelings toward that child-
self (refer to Chapter 6) is the healthy relationship between the adult-self
and the child-self that is necessary for healing. In the beginning, the client
will only be able to stay in their body and the pain for a limited time. The
duration of this time will increase as I:
1) support and encourage them to stay present,
2) bring awareness to them when they energetically vacate their body, and
3) direct them back into their body.
Usually when present in the body in this new way, new memories and
different perceptions and insights of old memories will emerge. The adult-
self is helping the child-self to see more clearly and to be loving and
supportive of what the child’s experience was. What is transforming is the
child’s perceived reality that their actions were responsible for their not
receiving the love they needed.
When the client releases the emotional holding locked up inside there is a
feeling of lightness and ease and quite often the client will feel energized –
this is because the energy that was being used in keeping everything
locked in is released and comes back into the system.
A WITNESS
My presence in the process is important because I am witnessing the
transformation and validating it while modeling a positive authority figure.
In that painful emotional place that the client is experiencing, I provide
support, guidance, reassurance, acceptance and help the client to examine
and redefine their experience. The child is innocent and not at fault and
never deserves to be treated in anything but in a loving way. THE
POWERFUL ILLUSION THAT IS BEING TRANSFORMED IS THE
MISCONCEPTION THAT THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH THEM.
END PART 2
BACK
PART TWO
AVOIDING EMOTIONAL PAIN
The mechanism is simple – in order to avoid emotional pain that is locked
in the body, a client will live their life in their head. It is too painful to be
connected in a balanced way with their body. This pattern or program is
created as a survival mechanism in childhood. The fact that it has been in
place for so long makes changing it even more difficult. The head can
distract from pain by
1) repressing memory,
2) rationalizing (example – “everybody has this amount of pain or more”,
“the authority figures that caused the pain didn’t mean it or were
unconscious to their actions)”,
3) addictive behavior – (drugs to not feel, and the need to use energy to
deal with the manifestations of these addictions ),
(4) other distractions such as unconscious creation of crisis, compulsive
over attention to work, television, computers, sports, etc.
Emotional pain locked in the body is unhealthy and creates pressure that
the body wisely wants to release. In order to release, the emotional pain
and the pressure it creates need to be consciously acknowledged in the
head (mind). The healing process is about feeling the pain that comes with
that acknowledgement and being able to stay present with it. It is not
possible to heal the stored pain in the body unless the client is present with
that pain. In order to feel and live joyfully we must be complete and in
balance, mind and body.
FACILITATING THE RELEASE
I want the client to become conscious of how the mind unconsciously
resists the upward movement of energy and will energetically push against
the release. I ask the client to breathe deeply in through the nose and
exhale through their open mouth. This action will start the flow of energy
upward to the head. The image that I use to help understand this dynamic
is to imagine the body being the lower part of a bottle filled with emotional
pain and the contents are held in by a cork in the opening of that bottle.
As the cork is removed (the closed mouth) the contents start to release.
(Note – the closed mouth also inhibits communication energy). As the pain
starts to release the defense mechanism automatically kicks in and pushes
the feelings back down into the body. The energy used in pushing and
resisting emotional pain is wasted energy that could be used in more
productive ways. Imagine your left and right hand pushing against each
other and the resulting fatigue . Usage of energy used in this way is also
unhealthy because it depletes the immune system.
In the beginning, it is very hard for the client to stay in their body. Quite
often they are not even aware of the unconscious mechanism in action.
When I point this out to them each time that it happens, they start to be
able to feel the shutdown. I point out to them that this mechanism is
always in play – opening and feeling and then shutting down. The body is
trying to release and get rid of the pain stored there, while the brain is
trying to keep it locked up in the body. It is necessary to have the client
experience the emotional pain as it moves up into their head and into their
consciousness. The client is often afraid to let this happen. They are afraid
that they will lose control, fall apart and not be able to function. The client
needs to be taught how to slow down the release so they will have a
feeling of control. (refer to: the braking process and sense of being able to
feel and yet control the emotional reactions) . I believe that intense,
extended emotional releases can be counter-productive because the pain
activates the wounded child-self to a point of loss of connection to the
present and the adult-self. This agonizing disconnection can actually be re-
traumatizing to the child-self. When the client starts to go too deeply into
the emotional pain, I will bring them back to the present by having them
open their eyes and reconnect with the present and their adult-self by
checking their environment and seeing me. This allows the adult-self to be
more present and connected with the wounded child-self.
THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF HEALING – ESTABLISHING A HEALTHY
RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN THE ADULT AND CHILD-SELF. THE CHILD-SELF
IS NEVER ALONE WITH THE ADULT-SELF PRESENT.
The adult-self holding, nurturing, protecting and loving their child-self and
not having negative, judgmental, and destructive feelings toward that child-
self (refer to Chapter 6) is the healthy relationship between the adult-self
and the child-self that is necessary for healing. In the beginning, the client
will only be able to stay in their body and the pain for a limited time. The
duration of this time will increase as I:
1) support and encourage them to stay present,
2) bring awareness to them when they energetically vacate their body, and
3) direct them back into their body.
Usually when present in the body in this new way, new memories and
different perceptions and insights of old memories will emerge. The adult-
self is helping the child-self to see more clearly and to be loving and
supportive of what the child’s experience was. What is transforming is the
child’s perceived reality that their actions were responsible for their not
receiving the love they needed.
When the client releases the emotional holding locked up inside there is a
feeling of lightness and ease and quite often the client will feel energized –
this is because the energy that was being used in keeping everything
locked in is released and comes back into the system.
A WITNESS
My presence in the process is important because I am witnessing the
transformation and validating it while modeling a positive authority figure.
In that painful emotional place that the client is experiencing, I provide
support, guidance, reassurance, acceptance and help the client to examine
and redefine their experience. The child is innocent and not at fault and
never deserves to be treated in anything but in a loving way. THE
POWERFUL ILLUSION THAT IS BEING TRANSFORMED IS THE
MISCONCEPTION THAT THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH THEM.
END PART 2
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